痛，在心坎里。
永远的遗憾。

对不起。


I am sad. Life has been rather tiring recently, or this is how I feel. I don't know. Maybe crazy hormonal changes are wrecking my tiny brain. I just do not enjoy the things I used to enjoy.

I need a break.

It's not about zy nor jw nor the life I am living now. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.

Perhaps I am expecting something. Something "magical" to happen. Something to lead me back to who I used to be.

I want to enjoy a little laughter, a little sadness, a little emotion, a little feeling.


Our handsome boy. *thick-skinned mama* I think zy looks like Nat Ho or rather if he were to grow up and look as good as him, I will have no worries! Hahahahah!!!







Something I've read today...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Top ten surprises of new parenthood

Surprise #1: Your relationship with your partner will change (for the better definitely!=))
Surprise #2: You'll have no idea where the time goes (so true... I really lost track of time sometimes.)
Surprise #3: You may look different
Surprise #4: You'll join an exclusive worldwide club
Surprise #5: You'll be stronger than you ever imagined (Yes. I have never expected myself to be so strong both mentally and physically. Never in my whole life.)
Surprise #6: You'll make "mistakes" you never anticipated
Surprise #7: Your friendships will change (only keeping friends worth keeping and not wasting time for the unnecessary.)
Surprise #8: There'll be times when you hate parenting
Surprise #9: You'll be overwhelmed by love (and other emotions) (=...()
Surprise #10: You'll have to let go sooner than you think (I have learnt to live life alot easier.)

No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.Your kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up, and make you forget what you urgently had to do. They'll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces. Then they'll put it back together, like a stained-glass window, into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The past few days have been a real challange for me. I am glad I survived. Well enough to look back and smile.

Taking care of zy almost alone for so many days has really tire me out (jw was travelling and I moved to my parents' house). My family did help a fair bit after coming back from work (grateful=)) so most of the time, I was alone with our little rascal and can you imagine, I was so afraid that I could not cope.

zy has been kinda clingy since last week and kept saying "mamamamamama" and wanting me to carry. I do not know if he is calling me but it seems that he needs me to be around all the time ( I can only go to the washroom when he naps!).

I think I need amazingly well handling zy. I brought him to take the MRT, to shopping and to the library! I could see that zy was really very happy and I was really happy too.

I have finally overcome my phobia. I am a real mother now.

*^_^*


I remember disliking David Cook during his initial stages in the recent American Idol 7. Well, I just did not like his face. Arrogant? Definitely not in my hunk list. But as he progressed to the later stages, I realised he is actually quite talented and has a rather nice voice. And I think he has his own chracter. Yes, I prefer hanging out with people who are true to themselves, their character and principles. Not those "fake-kos", braggers and those trying to be someone who they are not and never will be. So miserable huh.

jw told me a few days ago that he heard this originally Mariah Carey song sang by David Cook. I guess it's this song - Always be my baby. Beautiful song.



Lyrics:

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby


FINALLY I decided to change my template!

Well, I have been lazy. LAZY. Just lazy to change anything. But life is ever changing isn't it?

I love this new layout. Colourful and vibrant. Just like my life now. Oh yah, just few days ago, I told jw that our life is becoming boring. Sometimes it is. But think of the positive side, this is what stability is all about.

I am trying to reorganise my life. AGAIN. Finding time for everything.

Sometimes, I wish time will tick slower. Wait for me. Before I grow old and realise that I have not done anything.

Yeah, gonna get Jamie's Oliver cookbook someday. Becoming a housewife really.

Who cares.