showered zy for the first time!

although it was a not so pro attempt, but at least i tried right?? hahahah and the lucky part is zy did not kick any fuss at all! that makes double happiness and satisfaction for me today!=)

anyway, i've a dilemma now. should i get back to working society? have been looking through the papers and yeah, there are a couple of jobs that interest me. I mean, i know i can never be a SAHM(stay at home mum). everyone knows. but i do not wish to miss out zy's growing up years. i want to see his "firsts" in everything, be it walking or talking. however, it seems to be a waste of my brain cells staying at home just to look after him.

oh... tell me! what should i do!


Today is the 2nd day i brought zy down for morning walk and he seemed to love every bit of it by closing his eyes and enjoy the cool breeze. Every night before he sleeps, i'll ask him if he wants to have the morning walk the next morning and i'll take the cue when he smiles. And sure enough, he will be up and bright at about 7+am, waiting for me.

OH well, the day before, he kicked a big fuss at home and bullied his grandma! Can you imagine a baby bullying an adult! jw and I went for a haircut and dinner which took just a mere 5 hrs but zy seemed to sense our absence so he started screaming and stayed awake for the whole time!jw's mum really had no choice but to call us back as zy was getting out of hands and we had to rush back! And when we got back, he was smiling like an angel while falling asleep...



What a darling!!






Zhuo Yan is finally 1 month old! I'm so happy for him and of coz, for myself coz today also marks the last day of my confinement!

Milestone at 1 month:
-Able to turn his head left and right for adjustments.
-Gazes at bright lights for long moments and blinks upon external stimulus.
-Shields himself from glaring lights by using his hands to cover his eyes.
-Recognises familiar voices and songs and seems to listen to conversations by shifting his eyes to search for source.
-Smiles spontaneously when I speak to him about the same things in soft but slightly high pitch voice.
-Learns to show his displeasure by "screaming" real loud.
-Able to lift his head at a small angle for a brief moment.
-Clenches his hands on an object (i.e. my finger).
-Gurgles and coos.





Just another 2 days to go...

and shopping, sashimi & exercise here I come!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!


现代的爱情不是盲目的。

以前总以为有爱情就足够了。没面包也罢。

那晚看了“The Pursuit of Happyness"，很伤感却不敢哭，只因为在坐月子。

眼泪不停在眼睛里打转了好久。

jw常说工作队他很重要。如丢了饭碗，我一定会离开他。我却没那么想过。只要他爱我，天塌下了我也不管。但是，没经历过又何尝知道没面包的滋味？


雨天。卓谚刚睡着。

12月份的天气虽然是湿湿的，心里却是暖暖的。

今天很开心。因为卓谚好像懂得和我们玩。

抱着问他：“卓谚会玩了吗？卓谚喜欢和爸爸妈妈玩是吗？”

他以很灿烂的微笑答复我。我忍不住大笑。哈哈！

为了卓谚，想学游泳。游泳算是我的克星。从小无论怎么学都扑空。现在下决心了，一定要学会，才能和jw带卓谚去游泳。不可能我只做观众对吧。

孩子都生了。还有什么好怕的。






After blogging so many entries about Zhuo Yan, perhaps it's time to update a bit about myself. Ha.

Well, another 10 more days to the end of my confinement!! YEAH!!!!!!! Can you imagine not washing your hair and body for the past 20 days?? Sometimes I can't understand why when jw seems like dragging his body for shower. Bathing is such a luxury to me now and I can't wait to feel the gushing of water down my head and body!!

Obviously, I cannot stand being dirty, so I diligently wipe myself with warm boiled water and rice vinegar every morning. As for hair, I use dry hair powder and comb. In fact, my tolerance limit was reached on day 12! So I too wiped my hair but quickly blew dry! You can imagine my face! I felt so GOOD!!

As for food, I had the same dishes for 12 days and twice a day. That makes it 24 times. Think my mouth and stomach already knew what they would be getting even before I started each meal. It's always fish, long bean and pork. Cooked with ginger of course. My mouth started to ache after the 12th day and I had no choice but to ask my mother in law if I could have other dishes. And now, sometimes, I will have vinegar pork knuckles(which I think is quite nice actually after trying it for the first time in my life), ginger eggs and herbal soup.

During these days, I'm practically like a cow. Either latching Zhuo Yan on for milk or pumping the milk out for storage. Pumping can take an hour at times and before I can rest, Zhuo Yan starts waking up. Sometimes, I literally dozed off while feeding him but I sprang myself awake. Otherwise, Zhuo Yan and I will fall asleep side by side straight after feeding. To me, it's super comfortable for me and I can feel Zhuo Yan likes it too as he cuddles near my body.

For the past nights, I was really concussed, leaving jw to take care of Zhuo Yan alone. Poor jw but I really couldn't open my eyes at all and I even couldn't remember what I did or said to jw when he asked me in the morning. But resting well at night increases my milk supply which is what I've been aiming for!

NOw I'm looking forward to 26 Nov which is Zhuo Yan's 1st month birthday and the end of my confinement! My to-do list is soooooooo long!! Oh well, and my exercise plan starts too! Till today, I have lost about 11.5kg. Another 8.5 kg to go! ARGH! Shouldn't have gained that much weight during pregnancy... Now that I regret.

But being so vain, I sure will shake off the extra weight in no time! I still want to wear my levi jeans!


My ideal life is just the three of us together.

Without all the unhappy and pressurising responsiblities.

But when is life ever perfect?

tell me.

p/s. ireally look forward to bring Zhuo Yan out with you.
Just the three of us.


Last night, Zhuo Yan gave me his biggest ever smile. & I felt so touched.





This is how Zhuo Yan looks whenever he is hungry, uncomfortable(from pooing or urinating) or seeking attention to be cuddled. Guess this is how simple babies are.:)

Nowadays I love to sleep face to face beside Zhuo Yan. He has all the amazing expressions. My heart always melt when he gazes at me with his innocent doe eyes, especially the moment when he wakes up. Somehow, I feel he knows my presence. As he will smile and falls back to sleep again...

p/s. jw has been a great support throughout my pregnancy and now confinement. Seeing him so tire out pains my heart at times...


Zhuo Yan seems like a big boy who somehow understands what we tell him. I love to talk to him about even the most insignificant stuff and i'll sing the same songs to him everyday. At night, we'll sleep together on the same bed (with jw's sacrifice to sleep on the floor) and I think he likes it when I reassure that I'll sleep close to him. I can feel it coz he'll look at me with his innocent eyes and smile.

Isn't him such a darling.


Baby boy, Daddy and Mummy have decided on a name for you. It is a gift for you from Daddy and Mummy which will be uniquely yours.

杨卓谚
Yeo Zhuo Yan

Hope you will grow up to be a fine young man.


(Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; and Ephesians 5:31)

“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This indicates, among other things, that the man should be mature — ready to ably head the household and to support his wife physically and financially, spiritually, and emotionally. While marriage joins families as well as individuals, the man's primary earthly responsibility will become and remain being a good and faithful husband and hers being a good and faithful wife. The two of you need to decide how much additional family is too much and how close is too close.

if only this can be so true...


i'm feeling down.

guess it's normal for me to feel abit down somehow during this period due to my hormonal changes but i know clearly this is not about that.

i'm really upset. with things happening to me.

why can't people respect one another? all i wish for is mutual respect. not that i'm being aloof. i just wish to rest during confinement. that's why i thank and reject all visitors except my closest families. what i mean visitors include even uncles, aunt, cousins, grandparents.

why can't they just understand?

and why should they make snide remarks of me?

all i need is respect. respect my decision to be left to rest and not entertain any visitors who just wish to see baby.

i need a life of my own. the more i need it now after having baby. i need a threesome family life and not to be always interfered by whatever others say or advised.

i've to put a stop to all the interferences.

from now onwards, i'll do things the way i want.

stop giving me old folk advises or whatever. all is enough.

i'm a woman now and i know exactly what i am doing.

pls shut up and let me live my own life.

that's it.


Finally realised what really is motherhood.


Baby boy is diagnosed with jaundice and is admitted to hospital for light treatment for 2 days. Well, as much as I expected, this will be the situation but when jw called to tell, I tried so hard to fight back my tears.



My heart wrenched.


When mum called, I broke down. Uncontrollably.


I'm still tearing now.. Though my mind is conscious and clear. I don't know why tears just flow whenever I think of Baby boy. The bond we created over just 4 days is overwhelming. I never felt so much so much for someone.


Seeing Baby boy being so brave makes me dear him even more. Although that's what I tell him everyday - Baby boy is a strong, brave, happy and healthy boy. Mummy is always here to protect you so don't be afraid ok?


When we saw him just now, he was still the smiley baby who looked so carefree in his sleep even other babies in the nursery were screaming their lungs out.


Baby boy is really a Special gift from heaven to us. Thank heaven.